Mediocrity part 2

I.just read d prev post of mine on mediocrity...n wat shud i say..i was mighty impressed by it...may be coz dats wat i really think and i am amazed to read something which is so narrating my story.

Well its been 4 yrs sincr dat post but belive me nuthing had changed at all...i got kicked out of 2 jobs...i mean literally fired..de cud see i was no use..so may be i have stooped to abother heights of mediocrity :) 

Tiday we watched the movie tamasha...i really liked it..i almost felt like i shud change my life..as if it ws my story  being narrated..as if imtiaz ali khan made d movie for me to waken my spirits frm grave n be d new me..all pretty succesful! To leave d veil of mediocrity and shine like a ..umm dnt know d simile...pretty mediocre vocab i have got! N all pumped up i started talking to my hubby .u know i was d vice head girl of school...i ws shining..i dnt know wat happened suddenly dat i became like dis...n do u know wat my luving hubby did....he started playing peekaboo wid my baby..hahhahaha just like dat...n den i ws shocked...i said u nt listening...b ge says oh sry i ws playing...i said u shud hav reactes ti my vice head girl fucking boasting saga...n he says wat shyd i say...u were vhg ..so wat...so wat shud i say..wat is dere to say..n den i cried b4 him trying to make him as guilty as i cud of nt having tym for me..not listening or being proud of me being vhg!! N den i understood...i m again doing d same thing ..luking for scapegoats..hahhaha...scapegoat for nt having a partner who would listen to me...he said hez sick of me...sick of my constant blabbering boasting and whining...yups crct hez...hez bored...he dsnt want nething from me...y do i beakt him up for d same den...n den i stooped to another 2 levels of mediocrity ...where it struck to me dat nuhing bout me is grand...nuthing in which anyone on the earth wud be jnterested...i mean not even me...i get so bored of me i tell u..sigh!! 

u know y my hubby has become a lil positive bout me prpfessionally indese 4 yrs..coz i reallyhelped him financially...n coz astro said i m going to make it big one day ...hahhaha...poor hubby...dsnt even realize wat he got himself into..

So after all d false motivation from d movie , i reakized dat i am yet again no good to anyone...not even me...but this time i reallywanna lower down d expectations i have from people. Now how...i dont know yet...few thibgs i know which have to go are...me forgetting my glorious good for nothing past of being vhg etc...yups dose were mistakes made by few people and we cannot make dem scapegoats now saying..but de said i m xceptional! So no i m nt..i need to forget my childhood...just remember d jist of my life which makes me:

1. I ws so worthless dat no1 cared to even ask my name or rven look in my direction

2. Ugly i am...n its amazing to see.those few people who see me day in day out..how do u guuz manage ya...i cnt manage myself! So i need to forget dat people actually liked me at some point of yime....mistakes de made...we need not carry dat all along

3. Novartis and seclore truely understood my worth and dats wat i am...below average employee who struggles to understand even d basics of d basic rules...forget about the execution part! If i remember this point all wys den half my probs is.solved...i wont boast ever...coz a mediocre boasting as d best on earth luks sheer stupidity! 

4. No talks wid hubby which says nething bout me or my past..hez sick of my talks..remember! So we talk about baby ..him his career..baby ...my succesful frds..to which he will compare n make me feel more pathetic..which i deserve anyway :)

5. Everytym i get some success(read someone doing a gr8 favor), i am.going to come and read this..this will ensure dat i again dnt start my boasting business and forget d success as a mistake by some1 and continue my mediocre life as is:) 

This post is dedicated to my dear hubby whoz sick of me(i stink) and my thots(watta coincidence..de stink too hahhaaha)!!! Its 1am..i m going to turn 32 in a mnths tym...no wisdom yet...alass!!!